5 Times Carrie Fisher Said What Our Children Are Probably Thinking About Their Working Mothers

It’s no secret that 2016 has been a tough year—we’ve said goodbye to far too many pop culture legends. But the death of iconic actress Carrie Fisher, followed just one day later by her equally beloved mother Debbie Reynolds, has been a particularly challenging and bittersweet loss—for their fans, and for mothers everywhere.

Like many who spend their lives in the bright lights of Hollywood stardom, both women had a complex relationship with everything from fame to aging—and perhaps most significantly with each other.

Fisher eventually became almost as well-known for her funny and frank reflections on her Hollywood childhood as for her star-making turn as Princess Leia in Star Wars. (Almost.)

In fact, Fisher and Reynolds didn’t talk for almost a decade. “We had a fairly volatile relationship early on in my 20s,” Fisher explained in a 2011 interview with Oprah Winfrey. “I didn’t want to be around her. I did not want to be Debbie Reynolds’ daughter.”

Eventually the two patched up their differences and even moved into side-by-side homes in Los Angeles. When Debbie Reynolds died at the age of 84 on Wednesday, her heartbreaking last words were, “I want to be with Carrie.”

Though their relationship was sometimes strained, their bond was deep—a feeling not unfamiliar to most mothers, especially moms who work. We love what we do, and we love sharing that passion with our children. But there’s no doubt we deeply miss the moments we don’t get to spend with our little ones and worry they feel the same way.

In her uniquely witty and wonderful way, Fisher frequently summed up the experience of being the daughter of a working mom. We bet our kids can relate. Here, some of her best quotes:

On the tension of switching between having a mom and having a mom with a job, via Oprah:

“My mother would get up in the morning as my mother, and then she would go into this big closet that she had… She’d go in on [one] end as my mom, and she would come out the other end as Debbie Reynolds. It was like a car wash for celebrities.”

On enjoying one-on-one time with mom on the weekends, via Vanity Fair:

“When my mother was at home at weekends, we stayed with her as much as possible, which frequently meant we watched her dress and make herself up… When Mom was at home, she did a lot of sleeping because she worked so hard, so Todd and I wanted as much of her company as we could get. I slept on the rug on the floor next to her bed, and my brother slept on the couch near the window. In the morning when Todd and I got up, we would creep out of her room so we wouldn’t wake her.”

On how her mom taught her the value of hard work, via The New York Times:

“If anything, my mother taught me how to sur-thrive. That’s my word for it. She would go through these amazingly difficult things, and the message was clear: Doing the impossible is possible. It’s just not fun. She broke her ankle one night during a performance and went back onstage and sang ‘Tammy’ with her foot in a bucket of ice. She should be put on that thing with the four presidents—Mount Rushmore.”

On how her mom taught her perseverance, via Vanity Fair:

“There’s very few women from her generation who worked like that, who just kept a career going all her life, and raised children, and had horrible relationships, and lost all her money, and got it back again.”

On learning to appreciate her mother as a complex being, via Vox:

“Actually, she has been more than a mother to me. Not much—but definitely more. She’s been an unsolicited stylist, interior decorator and marriage counselor. Prior to our original introduction, Debbie Reynolds was already the voluptuous, fertile half of America’s sweethearts, Elizabeth’s Taylor’s matron of honor, and a baton twirler and French horn player. Admittedly, I found it difficult to share my mother with her adoring fans who treated her like she was part of their family.

She has led two lives — public and private — sometimes concurrently, sometimes not. One life is there for leading, the other to follow around. Within those lives, she is a movie star, recording artist, television actor, nightclub entertainer, Broadway performer, best-selling author, dance studio owner, preservationist of some of Hollywood’s most priceless artifacts, and co-founder of the Thalians, a group that has raised more than $30 million for mental health and mental health–related causes, and four and a half million of that money is allocated just for me.

This is an extraordinarily kind, generous, gifted, funny woman who would give you the shirt off her back if Vivien Leigh hadn’t once worn it in Gone With the Wind, and it’s the Debbie Reynolds of the big screen who made it all possible.”

Their relationship may have been complicated, but one thing is clear: Carrie Fisher deeply respected her mom. Fisher’s inspirational life and career is a testament not only to her own grit and determination but also to Debbie Reynolds. Thanks to their example, we’re all a little bit better at navigating the multilayered experience of working motherhood. We’re all a little better at Singin’ in the Rain and finding A New Hope.