How to Manage a Divorce While Maintaining Your Career

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Trying to juggle a career and motherhood in a two-parent household is difficult enough; it’s even more stressful when you’re doing it alone, and the transition from married to divorced can introduce a host of other chaotic complications. On the Holmes and Rahe stress scale, a divorce is the second-most stressful life event, second only to the death of a spouse, and when you realize you’re facing divorce, it may seem impossible to keep everything—including your job, your motherly duties, and your own sanity—in order.
There is hope, however, if you take control of the situation.

Strategies to Manage a Divorce

With these strategies, you can better manage your divorce while maintaining your career (and still being present as a parent). It won’t be easy, but it will be possible:

Compartmentalize your life.

It’s hard to avoid spillover in the different areas of your life; you might carry the stress of the divorce into the workplace, and start your workday in a frenzy, or inadvertently release some of your frustration by raising your voice with your child. However, you can mitigate these effects by trying to compartmentalize your life. At the end of the workday, stop thinking about work, and avoid any work-related communication; it stands as its own entity. When you’re spending time with your child, focus your thoughts on the child, and block out everything else. When you’re working through the divorce paperwork, try not to think about what you’re missing out on with your child or what work you could be doing.

Enlist the services of a good lawyer.

Divorce is a complicated legal procedure and you shouldn’t try to navigate those waters alone. The skill and experience of the lawyer you choose will have a direct impact on the final outcome of your divorce, as well as how much stress you experience in the meantime. Take your time finding the right lawyer, so you can rest easier knowing you’ll be fairly represented, and spend more time working and parenting, rather than wading through
documentation.

Attempt to resolve divorce issues as civilly as possible.

Divorces don’t have to be drawn-out, ferocious battles; if both parents are willing to compromise and negotiate, they can actually be handled quite civilly. It takes two parties to make this happen smoothly, but it can happen, and you can be a part of it. Be willing to compromise on key issues, and avoid provoking fights unnecessarily. If you can come to mutually acceptable terms on your own, you’ll have an easier time managing the divorce, you’ll spend less money on it, and odds are, you’ll come to a more favorable conclusion for both of you.



Get support.

According to Mental Health America, one of the best strategies for getting through a divorce is relying on the support of other people. Your friends, family members, and coworkers will all be there for you—as long as you have the courage to ask for their help. Ask a friend to babysit your child, or ask your parents for help running an errand while you take care of your career responsibilities. It will take a load off your plate, and give you more time to handle your primary responsibilities.

Be honest about your circumstances at the workplace.

As long as you have a reasonable supervisor, partners, and teammates, be honest and transparent about your personal circumstances in the workplace. They’ll understand the stress of divorce, and may be able to help fill in any temporary gaps you leave in your workload. If you’re on good terms with your coworkers, you may also be able to lean on them for personal, emotional support. In any case, trying to hide the fact that you’re going through a divorce will only make it more stressful to get through, so make the announcement when you can.

Finding Time for Yourself

One of the hardest parts of managing a divorce, a career, and parenthood is still finding time for yourself—which is important if you want to stay mentally healthy. You probably won’t be able to take a vacation or pamper yourself the way you’d like, but even if you find 30 minutes to watch an episode of your favorite show, read a passage from your favorite book, or take a long, warm bath, you’ll find yourself feeling less stressed and better able to handle all the complexities of your current situation.

Use the strategies listed above, and take things one day at a time. Divorce is time-consuming and stressful, but if you take it as bite-sized chunks, it truly is manageable—even with a career and a child to worry about.

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