Dating is tough enough for those without any encumberments or responsibilities. For a single mother, it becomes exponentially more complicated. After all, you not only have to be concerned about what kind of partner is right for you, but you also have to make sure that the person is right for your kids as well. And that doesn’t even take into account the other parent of your child. If they do have an active involvement in your children’s lives, they will likely and understandably be concerned about the type of person that you choose to date and have around your kids. If they’re not involved, it becomes even more crucial for you to choose someone who is an excellent role model for your children.
The situation can be so fraught with complications that some single mothers choose to forgo dating completely until their kids are grown. But that seems like a defeatist attitude to take. Life is short and giving up what could be years of happiness with someone that makes you happy is an awful sacrifice to have to make, just because you’re afraid of choosing poorly for you and your kids. There are plenty of dating resources available to you that can help with what can be a complicated process, even in a vacuum. When kids are involved, things are trickier still, but you can proceed if you know what it takes to spot the dating prospects who are excellent role models.
1. Past Experience
Think back throughout your life and to the people that you admire you most, whether it’s your own parents or other friends, bosses, family members, or even people you respect from afar. What qualities do they possess that you would like to see in your own children? These are some of the qualities that should be peeking through when you date somebody.
2. Checking Their Relationships
It’s understandable if you are attracted to someone who likes to go their own way and has some lone wolf tendencies; that can even be quite romantic in the movies or something like that. But when you’re dealing with real life and kids are part of the equation, someone who has difficulty maintaining positive relationships probably isn’t the kind of person who will be ready to be a leader for your kids. You need a warm and understanding partner in this respect as these are conducive to developing good relationships with kids.
3. A Long Trial Process
One of the most common mistakes that single moms can make when they begin to date someone new is that they become immediately smitten and bring that person around to their kids right away. You should never take that step until enough time passes where you can be sure that they will have your kids’ best interests at heart as well as your own.
Many single mothers think of the person they’re dating as being separate from the lives they share with their kids. Truthfully, your dating life and family life will eventually intertwine, which is why choosing people who have positive role model characteristics is a must.